Re: New Software

[Gary Feinstein <gfeinste@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

What an ass.

Heyer wrote:
> 
> I thought you all would benefit from this new IBM AS/400 program!!
> 
> This memo is to announce the development of a new software system.
> 
>  We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm
>  data that is Year 2000 compliant.  The program is referred to as
>  the "Millennium Year Application Software System" (MYASS).
> 
>  Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show
>  MYASS to everyone.  We will continue to hold demonstrations
>  throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity
>  to get a good look at MYASS.
> 
>  As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not
>  addressed the networking aspects so currently only one person at a
>  time can use MYASS.
> 
>  This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.  Several
>  people are using the program already and have come to depend on it.
>  Just this morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not
>  surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS.
> 
>  I've noticed that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat
>  afraid of MYASS.  Just last week, when asked to enter some
>  information into the program, I had a secretary say "I'm a little
>  nervous, I've never put anything into MYASS before."  I volunteered
>  to help her through her first time and when we were through she
>  admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually
>  looking forward to doing it again.  She went so far as to say that
>  after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MYASS.
> 
>  I know there are concerns over the virus found in MYASS upon
>  initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been
>  eliminated and we were able to save MYASS.  In the future, however,
>  protection will be required prior to entering MYASS.
> 
>  We planned this database to encompass all information associated
>  with the business.  So as you begin using the program, feel free to
>  put anything you want to into MYASS.  As MYASS grows larger, we
>  envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office
>  and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say "Here, stick
>  this in MYASS."
> 
>  This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company.
>  In a recent audit, an employee was asked where he had secured the
>  numbers on the report.  He proudly exclaimed "I just pulled them
>  out of MYASS."
> 
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