OT: Humor: An old one, but still good -- MIDRANGE-L

It's showing it's age a bit.....

If operating systems were airlines 
> DOS Air All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane,

> push it until it gets into the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the 
> ground. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on,

> et cetera. 

> Mac Airways The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, 
> feel the same and act the same. When asked question about the flight, they

> reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know and would you please

> return to your seat and watch the movie. 

> Windows Airlines The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants - all

> very attractive, the pilots - very capable. The fleet of Learjets the 
> carrier operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing 
> above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it explodes without warning. 

> OS/2 Skyways The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective 
> passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just 
> departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the 
> runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologizing profusely to customers 
>in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets 
> outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the 
> real flight will be on one of these new jets and how much safer it will be

> than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for

> the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until mid1995. Maybe 
> longer. 

> Fly Windows NT All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, 
> placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap 
> their wings and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying. 

> Unix Express All passengers bring a piece of the aeroplane and a box of 
> tools with them to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing 
> constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it 
> together. Eventually, the passengers split into groups and build several 
> different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers 
> actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there. 

> Wings of OS/400 The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguable the best 
> and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make

> them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to
your 
> every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 
> per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket
and 
> membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your 
> accounting department can call it overhead. 

> MVS Air Lines The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching hundreds 
> of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft.
The 
> plane has at least 10 engines and seats for over 1,000 passengers; bigger 
> models in the fleet can have more engines that anyone can count and fly 
> even more passengers than there are on Earth. It is claimed to cost less
per 
> passenger mile to operate these humongous planes than any other aircraft 
> ever built, unless you personally have to pay for the ticket. All the 
> passengers scramble aboard, as do the 200 technicians needed to keep it 
> from crashing. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns
the 
> engines, only to realize that the plane is too big to get though the 
> hangar doors.